I’m originally from the Homestead, FL area in south Florida. It was back in 1992, when a terrible storm came through and totally devastated the area, when I was freed from a life of captivity at a research facility. You humans called the storm Hurricane Andrew. I was one lucky baby monkey to have survived that ordeal but many of my monkey friends weren’t so lucky.
Anyway, after 25+ years of living on my own, struggling to learn how to survive in the wild, swinging from limb-to-limb and tree-to-tree, trying my best to avoid being seen by humans, taking a few breaks from my travels and living for a while in Silver Springs State Park, I found myself in a town called Valdosta back in the summer of 2015.
It was in Valdosta where I was soon spotted by Valdosta City Workers, VSU students, local residents and even a few police officers. My covert traveling was over after reports of my existence were reported in the local newspaper. I was befriended by a couple of pilots from Moody Air Force Base who spotted me and my hideout while they were out flying their Wart Hogs.
They secretly took me in and helped me with food, water and shelter. They even taught me how to fly those awesome Wart Hogs, but that’s a whole other story.
Folks, I will come to you from time to time with an article, opinion or perhaps even an occasional joke in an attempt to brighten your day. From time to time I will occasionally have one of my associates speak to you on different topics. You will eventually hear from Weather Monkey, Cyber Monkey, Financial Monkey, and the COMOOPs (COvert MOnkey OPeratives… an Elite Group of Special Forces Monkeys who are commanded by Col. Valdosta Monkey, Sr.) just to name a few of my associates.
Valdosta Monkey received the following question via his Facebook Page recently…
Dear Monkey,
What’s your opinion on Distracted Driving?
One thing I will never understand about you humans is how so many of you take life for granted. I see you folks driving your vehicles and instead of looking at the road you seem to be in a trance-like state staring at your laps.
You run off the shoulder of the road nearly taking out signs and mailboxes one-second and then just like finger-snap that you’re crossing the center line nearly hitting approaching vehicles head-on.
Folks? It’s not worth it!
Put those phones down, raise your head up and pay attention to the task at hand. Remember, the distance between you and the approaching vehicle is most likely closing at a combined speed of anywhere from 110-140 mph. Texting and driving is akin to DUI. If you choose to text and drive, cause a motor vehicle accident and kill someone, PLEASE don’t say, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to kill your family.” Saying you’re sorry just won’t cut it. You’re not sorry, you’re just stupid. Phones down! Heads up!
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